Fussy

While I walked around my hometown in my perpetually fussy mood today, I composed a list of things that make me cross:

1. When people say "rock star"

What I am referring to exactly is when biddies like the ones pictured above go out shopping or something and pick out a pair of distressed / faux-dirt encrusted, low-rise denim jeans and some kind of halter top with a bejeweled neckline and say "oh my gosh, I look/feel like such a rock star in this outfit!" Most sub-par make-over shows such as '10 Years Younger' and 'A Makeover Story' feature a flamboyant (and horribly dressed) host who will utter this phrase at least twice throughout the episode. The only logical explanation for this phrase being applied to twice-baked crypt keepers / Dina Lohanesque 'Forever 21-ers' (at heart) is that everyone has confused 'the Pussycat Dolls' with 'the Rolling Stones'. Basically, being shiny, trashy, and having a low-rise ANYTHING does not make you a rock star, but rather a groupie. (Did anyone pick up on how much low-rise jeans bother me?)

2. Being Mistaken for Joe Jonas

What started out as being a sort of humorous resemblance quickly developed into full-blown dopplegänger status in the eyes of others. With the release of the new Disney preteenploitation film "Camp Rock", my status as a bonus Jonas has been reinforced every time I go to the mall. A gaggle of girls are sure to giggle and squeal "That boy looks just like Joe Jonas!" every single time.

Some memorable highlights:

• People I have not talked to in ages from High School have started writing on my Facebook: 'hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile, but I just have to say that you look JUST like one of the Jonas bros, IDK which one exactly"

• While in New York, two of my friends were whispering near me and I hear 'Jonas brothers'. Apparently they were coming up with a plan to tell everyone at the club that night that they brought along a Jonas brother. Thankfully, they did not. Despite not doing that plan, some girl pulled my friend aside and asked him if he "brought Joe Jonas tonight" later on in that very same evening.

• My step-dad's side of the family calling to let me know that I look JUST like Joe Jonas

• Walking into Rockefeller Center and hearing three girls exclaim "ohmygod! IT'S JOE JONAS!"

Maybe I did bring it upon myself though when I made my 'default' photo on Facebook a Joe photo and confused many people into thinking I wear leather pants, but still, the insanity must end! And once little Joey gets older and dumped by Disney, it will!

Also, let me highlight a few differences:

• He has a record deal, I just took guitar lessons for four years and then stopped for no real reason.
• He has brothers, I am an only child
• He is some mud-blood mixture of a thousand European things while I am a pure-blood German
• While his stylist / contract forces him to spray paint his tight pants on, I just glide right into my like a hand in glove, all on my own accord.
• Finally, he and his brothers made some silly Christian vow of chastity to not go to bed until legally wed; I'll basically put out on the first date if you're famers / have a neat haircut*.

If you care for MORE comparing and contrasting, visit 'Throw a Hand Up''s earlier post on the subject.

3. Girls who wear sweats to go clothes shopping

The other week I was at Urban Outfitters. While waiting for a dressing room, the girl in front of me had 21 items. The clothes were all fairly decent, some nice summer dresses, skinny jeans, fancy blouses, etc, but she was decked out in no-name heather grey sweats, a matching hoodie, and Uggs. What is this nonsense! Why would you spend decent money on fantastic clothes if what you're going to wear out is just sweatpants?? It hurts me to see you in those clothes and it hurts me more to know you have nice clothes sitting at home going unused! Don't save your nice apparel for friend's weddings and field hockey spaghetti dinners (because we alllll know the majority of the girls who wear sweats 24/7 play field hockey).


So those are just three things at the moment. There are more, but I have to go meet up with a friend at the moment.

I'll leave you on a positive note with something that does not bother me at all. In fact, it brings me great joy:

***NUTRITIONAL YEAST***
Gahh, it's so good. I put it on everything from pasta to bagels to chips to bagel chips and beyond!
(Nutritional yeast is basically cheese for vegans)