Thursday, December 13, 2007

Five Favorite Covers with Five Favorite Covers

Covers and covers for everyone!

I am featuring my five favorite covers with my five favorite covers.

Act fast!

Click the images to go to Ikea's website and the links to get the songs.


José González' cover of the Knife's "Heartbeats"

From parties to pregnancies, surprises are fun! And this cover-cover combo is FULL of surprises. First, we'll start with the cover. It has simple geometric pattern in grey and white BUT on the under side it's only vertical lines. I also like the splat of orange stitchery. As for the cover, it's a surprising cover of one of my all time favorite songs. Like most things, I like the original but this is a restaurant-friendly mellow version.


Nouvelle Vague's cover of Echo and the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon"


Of all the hundreds of covers that Nouvelle Vague does, "The Killing Moon" is by far my favorite. It's a refreshing take on the 80's new-wave classic. The Ikea quilt cover is a refreshing departure from Ikea's more modern stuff. I like how you can buy zany things there but they also have some classy stuff too.

Dr. Dog's cover of Architecture in Helsinki's "Heart it Races"

Some songs have barely leaked onto the internet before they are covered and this cover is basically a good example. The single from Architecture in Helsinki's newest album has already been covered by Dr. Dog and it is a grand version. Also this comforter is NUTS. Spill paint all over me.


Peter Bjorn and John's cover of Paul Simon's "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard"

This quilt cover looks like an updated version of something that my mom might have had growing up so it is only fitting that I paired it with an updated version of a song she did in fact love growing up. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree! This cover has silly whistling and PB&J's signature drum sounds. Also fun anecdote: I couldn't decide which quilt cover I wonder so my mom told me to just get BOTH. This was one of them and the other one that is currently on my bed is the next cover:


Dawn Landes' cover Peter Bjorn and John's "Young Folks"

These two covers are my favorite covers. One is on my bed right now and the other is playing right now. How fun! I cannot deny my bluegrass roots (PA deutsch family farm anyone?!) therefore I really really love this cover. Also, I like going to be at night and covering myself up with thousands and thousands of tiny cyclones and what not.

Enjoy!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

No Nasties Guide to Potlucks

If you're anything like me then you are growing up. Part of growing up means all sorts of gross things BUT it also means getting invited to functions like potlucks.

Despite what my nana says, potlucks are not thrown just because the host is lazy (that's only true about 90% of the time) but rather they are thrown because it is an easy way to entertain lots of people without running out of food and having lots and lots to clean up.

Due to my crippling control issues, I have never personally thrown a potluck gathering. I much prefer to cook and do everything. I have however, been to many potlucks. From vegetarian wedding potlucks to your standard family reunion (not as easy as a) cake walk.

Tonight I will be bringing along my famous tofu asparagus bake. If I didn't procrastinate, I could post the recipe and photos, but you will just have to wait until tomorrow.

While I'm gone, mull this over: A lady today asked me if I was South African "because of your (my) accent"

Question 1: What accent do I have?!

Thank you.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Fête Up: Holiday Sweaters

Do you like my clever sloganeering? It's as though Nylon writes all my blog titles!

Hanukkah begins tomorrow and that means it is officially okay for Holiday Parties to begin (as decreed by the secret Israeli police).

As a thrower of several Holiday fiestas and an attendee of billions of festive get-togethers, I would like to drop helpful hints about Holiday parties throughout the course of this week.

Dressing appropriately is highly important to insuring everybody has a good time. Nobody wants to see your feet in the wintertime (or most time) so avoid flip flops. Also I don't know anyone who likes Uggs so don't encourage the fashionistas to snicker and scoff at you all night by showing up in your sueded mistakes.

Holiday Blunder: Last year, some friends and I went to someone's (way) older cousin's house for a Christmas gathering. It was pretty WASPy so it's safe to say it was a Christmas party. For some reason I thought it would be neat to wear my crazy AA hoodie (show on this fellow here) and black skinny jeans. Pairing those clothes with my height and age, I stood out prominently. Picture those posters and ads you see in American Eagle of what they imagine the perfect holiday party should be, and that's what it was. Fortunately the eggnog was flowing and I launched into a Spanish tirade that took me from the oddball out to the festive noel.

It is important to note that there is nothing wrong with standing out and being different! Right Judy Blume?!? But it is also important to note that there are times when its best not to stand out like a shiny gemstone in a pile of Ticonderoga pencils, such as: Vietnamese POW camps, most frat parties, the Westboro Baptist Church, etc. etc.

I'll have more tips and tricks for appropriate Holiday party-wear and other aspects of Holiday partying in the coming days, but for now, I'll leave you with Hannah's and I's planned festive apparel.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Collegiate Health Issues

Being in college, you are exposed to many new things: People from different backgrounds than you, Professors with indiscernible accents, homeless people accosting you everyday (for the kids who attend inner-city universities!), and all things illegal and nastie. In addition to these confusing, painful experiences there are other things that are almost impossible to avoid: Health issues.

I have composed a few a case studies of some memorable health issues I have seen over the three semesters I have been at the University. **All names and images have been edited to protect the identities of the ill.** Oh and also I'm not a doctor. I am majoring in Spanish and French so do not take these case-studies as real deal ways to live your life. I can give you some sweet tunes or vegan cooking tips, but no real medical advice.

Case Study #1: ~*The Kissing Disease*~

Also known as mono or infections mononucleosis, this common collegiate disease has been ravaging the body of my good friend **Clint Pepsiley** for almost a month now. She ain't no hoe, so I know she didn't get it from sleeping around. BUT she is no stranger to sharing food / drinks soo that's probably the deal.

Prevention: Do not share anything, ever.

Symptoms: Fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, and sore throat. Ya know, basically the same symptoms of every other disease.

Coping: Rest up! If your lungs stop working or if you feel that your symptoms are getting worse, go see a doctor, he'll probably give you some high-quality meds.

Pros: Good excuse for not going to class. Also keeps away any grossies or are pursuing you (romantically).

Cons: Swollen lymph nodes.
Here you can see Clint enjoyed hours of hiking and skiing in the mountains. The after picture is an artist rendering since she has not left her room in days. Note the extreme pallor, swollen lymph nodes, and how the green eyeshadow compliments her hair and eyes.

Case Study #2: Urinary Tract Infection

You hear about it on The View all the time, but you never think it could happen to you, a normal person, and then BAM, painful urination. You've got the UTI. Was it the time you couldn't hold it in any longer and used the filthy bathroom at Starlight Ballroom after Girl Talk? The time you went hiking with no undies on? Or how about your little after hours "encounter" with that kid who rides a fixed gear but also doesn't shower often?

For **Silky Sasslady**, it still remains a mystery. It seemed that every time I had lunch with her, she was gulping down glasses upon glasses of cranberry juice to get rid of her infection.

Prevention: Clean it out. Avoid dirty people.

Symptoms: Painful urination, pain in the danger zone, and pain all around. Oh and you pee a lot. Painfully.

Coping: The best thing to do is drink lots of cranberry juice and pee. And of course, see a doctor.

Pros: All the cranberry juice you can drink! Oh and if you're a guy, a pro is that your urethra is way longer than a girl's so your chances of getting it are way lower!!!

Cons: It burns.

Before, Silky had sassy fashion and an affinity for fat cats. After her UTIs (judging from this picture) she's on an Indian reservation, turning tricks for sailors. Remember: Cranberries.

Case Study #3: Rhinovirus

The rhinovirus is the common cold. That's all. There was a Rugrats episode about it. While it may be common, it's also really annoying and affects basically everyone I know. My coppertopped friend **Leia Beauty** had it for alooong time last year and we still reminisce about it today.

Prevention: Pff, good luck. Just kidding. Rest is very important. The more run down you are, the more susceptible you are to the virus. Take vitamin C and wash your hands a lot (basically to the point of obsession where your hands are constantly chaffed and bleeding).

Symptoms: You're familiar.

Coping: Stock up on tissues and cough medicine (Avod robo-trips). Rest and drink HOT tea. Also, don't sniffle or cough for fifty minutes in class. It's your problem, leave your drama at the door.

Pros: Having a cold is the absolute worst. NO PROS. Although, Leia is a pro at having it.

Cons: The whole lot of it! But having a stuffy nose is pretty awful. Take advantage of being able to breathe normally when you can.

Before, Leia enjoyed working with produce, now she's a rhino flying up to heaven... Pysch! I just like fantasy artwork a lot.

Case Study #4: Alcohol Poisoning
How much XXX is in that jungle juice? Did I just have four shots or fourteen? Beer before liquor never ___? All things to ask yourself while you are unwinding over the weekend from the trials and tribulations of being in college. This is not for anyone specifically, just a general case study that's tremendously common on campus.

Prevention: Abstinence. But if that doesn't work, remember that your body is a temple. Call its number and get some information on it, like its hour of operations, can you take photographs once inside, restaurants in the vicinity of the temple, and most importantly your limits.

Symptoms: They say hiccuping is one of the first signs. Vomiting is always a good indicator too! But the best way to be sure someone is full up on the booze, is blacking out. But in all seriousness, please tone down your drinking and don't even get near the point of vomiting. Besides, lots of people have to pee and you are holding up the line by clutching the toilet all night.

Coping: Time heals all wounds.

Pros: None. Except maybe that .25 seconds after you throw up and you feel really good and invincible, but really, those .25 seconds of bliss aren't worth 4.25+ hours of death.

Cons: The whole deal. Bad news bears all around.
It's all fun and thumbs-up, but before you know it, you can't keep yours eyes open and someone's combing your hair with a brush that popped out of a plush pregnant cat toy thing.



Yes yes, so thankfully nobody I'm acquainted with has had anything TOO serious happen to them, but ya know, all these things are bad in their own way.

Stay informed and know whats up so you can avoid these common collegiate health issues and perfect your no nasties lifestyle.

Goodnight!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Rats in the Cellar



The best way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon is watching an old-timey movie. Specifically "What ever Happened to Baby Jane?". The classic tale of the ups-and-downs of Hollywood and the ups-and-downs of putting Joan Crawford and Bette Davis in the same movie.

If you're fascinated by Bette Davis' baby-hag look, do not fear! It can be obtained easily at Urban Outfitters. Who would ever guess that UO would sell terribly unattractive clothes suitable for mentally unstable old women??

Clear off the moth balls on your grammy's Sunday best dresses! It's time to go back in time and relive her (or maybe your) glory days. It helps if your grammy / nana / etc. was a child during the 20's. I feel like the designers of the Urban Outfitters dress were watching the movie while sketching the design. Add a ribbon to it and it's basically exactly like the one in the clip. The headband keeps back your matted manes and also says "Hey, I'm old, but I know what the kidz like" with shimmering shining ~*jewels*~. As far as jewelry goes, just throw on as much junk and metallic things as possible (bangles and clangy things will let people know you're coming, and they'll appreciate that!). Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis' character) loves alcohol almost as much as regular Urban Outfitters shoppers so a glass bottle necklace is the perfect way to tote around your little "pick-me-up" to get through your day, one sip at a time*. For finishing touches, shellac and schmear pancake make-up on to hide / fill in those wrinkles. Tammy Faye Baker (RIP) probably took inspiration from the "Bette Davis eyes" featured in this film. Use fake eye-lashes or perhaps just coat your eyes every half hour in thick black mascara. Lastly, a little drawn on heart-shaped beauty mark will really let the boys know you're in it to win it!

Enjoy what remains of your Sunday night!

*No Nasties does not condone alcoholism, but ya know, if it keeps you going, it's better than being dead right? Right.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Pennsylvania Deutsch Wonderland


Happy Thanksgiving!

Ahh the 80's, when father had burly facial hair and auntie wore weird sweaters and acid wash jeans. My favorite holiday is most certainly Thanksgiving. There's nothing I love more than eating a fantastic late lunch with my family. This Thanksgiving was particularly enjoyable since I have not been home since August 23rd. Instead of going to my nana's house for her usual feast, my great-aunt invited us out to Amish Country for dinner at a smörgåsbord. While change and new experiences makes me queasy, I had an overall great time with the family.

Being in Lancaster reignited my love of my prominent Pennsylvania Deutsch and distant Amish background so I thought I'd make that today's theme for food and style!

The best dessert EVER is Shoo Fly Pie ( unless your my mother or nana who prefer another PA deutsch dessert known as 'funny cake' ).
It's basically a layer of molasses and then a coffee-cake type of deal on top of that with a delicious pie crust. If you are ever anywhere near me, ask me to make you one. If you don't know me or are far away, go buy one in Lancaster. If NEITHER of my suggestions appeal to you, simply come back here tomorrow and I might share my (vegan) version of my favorite PA deutsch treat.

As far as style goes, a lot can be learned from our primitive / uncivilized brethren, the Amish. Their clothes are (unsurprisingly) all about simplicity BUT also bold colors. So for something as simple and American as the Amish, look no further than American Apparel for all your Amish-couture!



A solid color collared shirt, black button-up vest and a pair of (almost)black slim slacks will have you raisin' barns til the morning!



November is marriage month for the Amish and you'll be sure to win over every Mr. Smucker and Mr. Ackernecht in the community in this baby blue collared shirt and skirt outfit. What the ankle-revealing skirt lacks in demut ( or humility ), the high-waist and opaque pantyhose make up for it enough so that all Ordnung ( community council ) can agree on!

Now put a little rumspringa in your step with these outfits only the English would wear:



Shiny and unnatural fabrics are forbidden in the Amish community thus a lamé windbreaker and nylon shorts are the perfect way to stick it the conscientious objectors! Wearing a work-shirt on the outside is the pickled cabbage in the chow-chow!



I'm pretty sure there is a passage in the Bible that says women are not allowed to wear men's clothing (take note all you biddies who buy up all the small sizes in the guy's sections of my favorite stores!) so wearing your brother's overalls and a wide necked leotard is a surefire way to go straight to hell in style. I read that the most popular color amongst Amish women is purple. This fancy party dress in purple is not your old memmy's wedding attire! And finally, the brash and boldness of this polo dress looks shunnigly sinful paired with AA's silver cardigan.

So there you have it! All your Amish lusts and desires can be fulfilled (for a price!) at American Apparel.

I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!